My entire life, I have grown up in a bigger body. “Fat,” “plus-sized,” “big-boned,” “more developed,” “womanly,” “soft,” “gives good hugs,” “DUFF,” etc. Yes, I was actually called the DUFF in 7th grade; that legitimately happened. I was always asked to lose weight, even when I was perfectly healthy, and I was never seen as a romantic option or someone to take seriously in certain crowds. With the rise of ozempic, it only got worse. Everyone wants to be skinny now, and a lot of people won’t even look at you if you are not deemed conventionally attractive in their eyes.
Now, dear readers, you already know this about society. I am not delivering new information to anyone that’s been paying attention. What I will tell you is that I personally have started to find skinny people incredibly unattractive. Before you get all upset, I think there is a very clear difference between skinny people and thin people. Thin people are just that: thin. Skinny people center their identity around being skinny, and truthfully, I find it difficult to be around. Boring, annoying, and, most of all, sad. Monitoring what you eat to the very last calorie, restricting yourself so you can’t enjoy one of life’s greatest pleasures, makes you not hot. There has been online discourse recently as to why everyone is sexy, and no one is hot, and I think there is a direct correlation to skinniness. You can’t be hot if you are miserable or not fully in your body. To be hot, you have to be sensual, and sensuality comes from confidence and pleasure, which is difficult to have when you are constantly worried about your arms being too fat.
I want to make it clear: I do not blame these people. This is an insidious, widespread problem that stems a century (at least). We cannot dictate how we feel about ourselves all the time when we live under the microscope, when we live in a world that cares so much about women’s bodies. However, I do blame these people when they make the active choice not to look inwards and assess where these biases come from. If I have to think midway through a conversation if the person I am talking to would kill themselves if they woke up tomorrow in my body, I no longer have patience or respect for the issue at hand. Harsh, maybe, but I am an incredibly confident person, and I refuse to allow anyone to project their own insecurities onto me, unknowingly or not.
I love the way I look. I love confident, fat women. I think it is the most profoundly beautiful thing I can think of: to reject modern society’s beauty standards and be happy with who you are, no matter what. To really be in your own body - to enjoy everything that life has to offer - sometimes means you have to be a bit chunky. And that’s okay! It’s glorious! I am not going to talk about how it is important to be healthy, because I think that is obvious. Of course it is important to work out and eat a balanced diet, and if you think the point I am trying to make is to not do those things, then you need to reread this article.
Issue 05 is about the taboo, what society in many ways has pushed to the side. And while, of course, it makes sense to include a photoshoot of people who live in bigger bodies, I want to say that fat women will always be the center of my world. Why take ozempic when you can enjoy wine, pilates, pasta, dancing, running, painting, singing, and so much more. Skinny people reading this, I can tell that you are brimming with anger. Let me ask you this -- when you judge someone for living a happier life than yours while existing in a bigger body, is it really judgment that you feel, or is it jealousy? It’s hard to really take joy in life when you are constantly hungry or under-satisfied. And one thing about me: I plan on enjoying every day of my life, the good and the bad, and I’ll be damned if I am worrying about my thighs at the same time.
The models for this shoot really brought confidence, beauty, and sensuality, and thank god! THANK GOD! There is no one more beautiful, more glamorous, more daring, than a fat woman.
I often have a lot of people question how I am so confident, not even in a rude way, but with genuine curiosity, because it has not always been easy being me. Firstly, there is a lot of shadow work involved (I know, I know), but also you have to look at the world around you. Listen to the birds when they sing; really pay attention when women laugh, full-bodied and unafraid. You should want to be that free, that full of life. Wear the crop top, the bikini to the beach; the birds will continue to sing either way. This is truly a love letter to the fat people who haven’t yet blossomed: welcome, sister, I love you already!
